David Gobble
Rick Whitehead
Fard Muhammad
Carlos
Allison Pregler
Elizabeth Howard Grace
Rob Walker
Santa Christ
Doug Walker
Samuel Tobinski / Kendrick Tobinski
Malcolm Ray
The Devil
Brad Jones
Willy Whitehead
Brian Lewis
Burton Burpo
Zachary La Voy
Ranger Buckman
Tamara Lynn Chambers
Darlene
Sarah Gobble
God
Aidan Bart
Young Rick
Nash Bozard
Terry
Flynn Hanners
Father Jenkins
Jillian Zurawski
Rick's Mom
Ed Smith
Praying Man
Christopher Proffitt
Gabe
Trevor Ollech
Ned and Stacey
Brian Irving
Internet Neckbeard
Sean Wilburn
TV Cameraman
Ed Glaser
TV Producer
Joe Means
Heaven's Stage Manager
Allison Means
Dana
Tia Spencer
Maid of Honor
Scott Spencer
Christopher Hitchens (voice)
Rob Sheehan
Internet Commentor 1
Cory Lyle Vinderslev
Internet Commenter 2
Eric Gaspard
Internet Commentor 3
Ryan Mitchelle
Internet Commentor 4
Michael Schiciano
Internet Commenter 5
Patrick Buss
Restaurant Patron (uncredited)
Louie Corbo
Internet Neckbeard (uncredited)
Meagan Rachelle
Bush (uncredited)
Patrick Thatcher
Internet Neckbeard (uncredited)
Omar Ahmed
Omar