William Hellfire
Derwin
Joey Smack
Derick
Erin Brown
Bible Girl
Lilly Tiger
Play Girl
Chris Perez
Car Kid
Henry Krinkle
Retard
Mikey Ovum
Spam Jock
Ryan Trimmer
Benchpress
Kendall 'Shorty' Ward
Afro-American
Marie Mazur
Song Girl
Mike Ronor
Goth Boy
Liz Bathory
Goth Girl
Michael Lema
No Info Boy
Jacqueline D'angelo
911 Dispatcher
Michelle Chard
911 Girl
Beef Hunkster
Teacher
Michael L. Raso
Young Derwin / The Police Chief
Stephen Harris
The Fathers
Pamela Anne
The Mothers
Larry Wellman
The Principal
Pete Floris
Internet Teacher
Murtal Murtz
School Announcer
Pete Jacelone
The Janitor
Thomas Linden
The Gun Man
Hernandez
The Gun Mans Assistant
Minty Hansen
Cafeteria Lady
John James
Bible Boy
Martina Solej
Screaming Girl
Lora Lane
Newscaster
Nathan Lanman
Cameraman
Carl Pitt
Policeman
Mick Leo
Swat Answering Machine
Michael Lione
Teenage Boy #1
Patrick Henderson
Teenage Boy #2
Michael J Scillia
Surviving Jock #1
Kyle Lee Laferrière
Surviving Jock #2
Justine
Rose Girl
John Link
Scientist
Bob Gonzo
Entrepreneur
John Bacchus
The Preacher
John Paul Fedele
G.U.N. Association Representative